familytastic!

Someone asked me recently, “If you knew then what you know now, would you still have had kids?”

It’s a question that I couldn’t answer but it’s bugged me ever since. Would I?

I did a bit of an exciting thing during the week. I quit my job.

Now, there were a few problems in the office that I wasn't happy with. Nothing to do with the work or the people who worked there, but more issues I had with my managers that have come to a head. Although I have decided not to divulge too much, the thing is that those issues led me to decide that working for an employer is too much trouble.

I just love the stage that our baby boy is at right now. Actually I should probably stop calling him a baby, he is more of a toddler at this point. But he is our youngest and last and I want to have a baby for just a bit longer! Anyway back to the point, Daniel is 21 months old and chattering like a monkey! I love watching the joy on his face when I understand what he is saying, and more often than not what he wants to eat. Many of Daniels first words have been food or drink related. Unsurprising, considering thats all he ever wants to do.

Normally by this time of year I am at least half organised for christmas. I know how boring that sounds but the thought of buying all my presents in December terrifies me and I could never afford to do it all in one month anyway.

This year however I seem to be lagging behind. I have a few things in for Jake and a few dress up costumes for Rachel, but other than that the attic is bare.

I hadn't even begun to worry about it until we went sofa shopping today. After visiting numerous furniture stores and finally deciding on our perfect sofas we were informed that we would have to wait 14 weeks for delivery. The sales assistant specifically pointed out that we will be receiving the set about a week before christmas. The panic then set in......14 weeks, thats only 3 months, thats three wages, thats not enough!

To make things worse after a visit to the toy store next door the children have now dictated their entire christmas list, and guess what, they won't be getting the half of it! Jake, our wily three year old, informed me that if I let him get a big drum kit for christmas he would be my best friend again. i didn't know that he had ever stopped the wee imp!

So the christmas countdown has officially begun. I had better start to stockpile very soon, or it will be homemade gifts and cards for family and friends!

Up until recently there was very little differentiation in our home between the toys Rachel played with, and the toys that Jake chose.

If Rachel wanted to play with Barbies or My Little Ponies, then Jake was happy to join in. But in the last few weeks our wee boy has started to emerge. It all started with a Batman figure that my sister bought for him last month, and from then we have seen his interest in boys toys grow and grow.

I thought it was time to bring down all Gerard's old He-Man and Ghostbuster toys from the attic yesterday, and honestly you would have though that it was christmas in our house. Jake has played with the toys ever since, and its funny to imagine that 25 years ago his dad was playing with the same toys.

I can see Jakes gender really beginning to make a difference in other areas too. He is no longer content to watch Barbie Mermadia repeatedly, but is now asking for Power Rangers and Thunderbirds. When playing with other children he naturally gravitates towards the boys, and instead of playing on the swings, or see saws, Jake now wants to play sword fights.

Rachel is such a girly girl, who loves to pretend to be me in every way. Its nice to see Jake no longer following her every move, but beginning to make choices of his own.

I just came across a great post on the Digito Society blog, that references a study carried out to determine what dads like to receive on fathers day.

One third of fathers said that their number one gift preference would be a greeting card, and 14% would like a home cooked meal.

Thank God for that! Gerard has nothing to complain about then. He received not one but two cards. One store bought, one the children made themselves. His breakfast in bed was home cooked, it may have only been fruit and porridge, but it still counts.

In lieu of a huge gift, I would like instead to publicly (and belatedly)thank my husband for being the best dad I know. I appreciate you so much, our kids are going to grow up to be better people because you are so active in their life. One day they will realise how lucky they are!

Following on from my post on outside influences on children, Rachel came off with another cracker this week.

On Friday morning I was trying to coax her into eating her fruit salad before going to school. She was digging her heels in and refusing to do so. She wanted a biscuit and juice, I tried to have the junk food chat but she just wasn't listening. So I told her that she would be getting nothing else to eat until the fruit was finished.

She then stood up, kicked the table and exclaimed "mother, you are ruining my life!"

I had to turn away so she wouldn't see me laugh! I said "Rachel, you don't even know what that means" she replied "yes I do, it means you are making me very unhappy".

It turns out that a nine year old girl that lives in our street had said the same thing to her sister while Rachel listened last week. It obviously stuck, and now it is her phrase of choice when we are not pleasing her.

If this is what she is like at 4, how will we cope with a teenage version?

It is coming up to that time, when Rachel and Jake where 9 months old, my periods returned. Within another 3-4 months I was pregnant again. Daniel is now 9 months old and the feelings of panic are beginning to rise.

I have already explained my feelings on birth control and contraception, so at the minute we are relying on good old condoms. However we used them religiously after Jake, and I still got pregnant, so I don't have a hig level of faith in our chosen method.

Two weeks ago I began to get period cramps. I had been expecting them for a while, so i stocked up on sanitary products and waited for the inevitavble. But it didn't come.

Five days of cramps and mood swings later I began to panic. For the first few weeks of all my pregnancies I have suffered with cramps of this kind, so I began to suspect that I was pregnant once more.

At first I was relatively calm. "It must be meant to be" I thought, I was nervous when I was first pregnant with Daniel, but I wouldn't change him for the world, and after all didn't I want a sister for Rachel? However as the hours began to pass and I pondered the future I began to get frantic. Daniel wouldn't even be 18 months old when the baby was born. I would be bound to get severe SPD again, how would I cope without being able to walk and still look after 3 young children? I missed a whole nights sleep just worrying and worrying.

First thing last Monday I went to the pharmacy and got a pregnancy test, though I was sure what the result would be......Guess what, I was wrong. The test was negative.

I am still getting the cramps, but I am hoping that it is just my body's way of getting itself into gear once again. After all I haven't had a period since before I was pregnant a year and a half ago.

Gerard has been ordered to the GPs in a bid to get his vastectomy moved forward. I couldn't cope with this panic every month!

Mind Hacks  are producing a programme for BBC2 beginning this week called 'The Happiness Formula'.

In a bid to find out what makes people happy, the BBC have put up their own Happy Tips webpage. It is well worth a look. Suggestions for finding happiness include

* Practicing Forgiveness
* Being Grateful For The Good Things In Life
* Being a Little Crazy Now and Again
* Don't Make Money Your God
* Stop Reading The Newspapers

I have to say there's not much there that I would disagree with!

What makes me happy......thats an easy one: my friends and my family. I try to avoid negative people wherever possible, avoid needless worrying, avoid debt (that's a big one!)and try to concentrate on the positive things in my day and my life. It works for me!

Dana pointed me towards Salary.com who have developed a great tool called the Mom Salary Wizard. It basically works out what a mums salary should be based on the amount of children they have, whether they are a stay at home mum or working mum and where they live.

As I don't live in the USA I couldn't personalise it, but a general analysis showed that I should be getting paid £72,000 or $134,000.

If only!