We were away this weekend in Ballycastle visiting the folks up there.

Saturday evening was beautiful, so we decided to go for a walk. The weather was warm, but there was a gentle breeze keeping us cool. Rachel and Jake came along on their scooters, riding a bit too fast for comfort (since I was the one trying to keep up with them)!

We ended up in a local playground near the beach and spent a relaxing hour playing with the children on the swings, slides and climbing frames. As the sun started to descend and the air became cooler, we decided to head back up to my parents’ house where we were staying.

So, the two scooter kids shot off and I lumbered along in pursuit. The pair stopped at the end of a row of houses and loitered for a minute while I caught up. Running down the side of the houses was a steep hill, which son and daughter were contemplating from their scooters.

Rachel did a little test with her scooter, going a little bit down the hill and then pulling toward the verge to stop. I thought she’d realised how steep the hill was and had decided against scooting down it. Wrong…

After a couple of seconds, she shot off down the hill. I couldn’t believe my eyes and shouted at her to stop. (Great idea, she was already out of control, how could she stop?) A car was parked near the bottom of the hill with the driver’s door wide open. Rachel was heading straight for it. I was pounding down the hill as fast as my legs would carry me, no hope of catching her now, just to pick up the pieces at the bottom.

Rachel managed to avoid the car door, but the road came to a bend at the bottom and she couldn’t follow it at that speed. Her only option was to either crash into the hedge or attempt to skid to a stop. She chose the skid.

For a moment, it looked like she was going to make it, but a patch of rough ground caused the scooter to fall abruptly and she was thrown off, landing hard on her knees and then smashing her face off the ground. I was beside her within seconds prising her gingerly off the ground, trying to asses the damage and comforting her and berating her in the same breath. Her mouth and nose were bleeding and she was pebbledashed with small stones which I gently wiped away. Her knees were grazed and bleeding too and she was scared and badly shaken from the ordeal.

Jake appeared a minute or two later, offering to take Rachel’s scooter back up the hill, and I carried the patient back to the top, still incredulous at what I’d just seen. As I was going up the hill, I noticed a car had stopped and the passengers staring at us. I inwardly cursed them for sitting there watching our misfortune when the driver got out and came across the road with a first aid box. He explained that he works for the local coastguard and proceeded to clean Rachel’s knees and patch her up. When he finished, we thanked him profusely (and I felt bad about my snap judgement).

Epilogue

Rachel then refusing to walk (too sore), I ended up carrying her all the way back to her Grandparents’ house. When we got back, I laid her down on the sofa to rest. Guess what? Within five minutes she was up and running around again as if nothing had happened!

Still, the sight of a child hurtling down a hill and crashing at the bottom is never pleasant. Rachel’s got a few minor cuts to her face, but it could have been so much worse - we were expecting broken bones.

Over the last few weeks I have felt as though I am banging my head off a brick wall. Jake has always been more free with his hands than Rachel, but over the last six months or so, I have noticed that he rarely hits, kicks or pushes anymore.

Since summer holidays started though I have noticed a deterioration in both of the children’s behaviour. They are hitting each other A LOT! To make things worse, a boy that often plays with Jake and Rachel came crying to us tonight that Jake had hit him on the head, and it turns out that Rachel, who thought the boy was being cheeky, had told Jake to do it.

I am trying to talk it out with them, explaining what they are doing is wrong and that it hurts other children. They have had stickers removed from their reward charts, they have been brought inside and not allowed out to play. None of it seems to be working. To be fair the majority of the problem lies with Rachel, Jake often just follows his big sister’s lead.

I think that Rachel is bored, she misses school and it is very hard to stimulate her effectively while also trying to amuse the two younger boys. I am at my wits end, and don’t like to see my usually very kind and considerate daughter turn into such a bad tempered little girl.  I am trying to practice positive discipline and not constantly tell her she is being bad, but sometimes my patience does wear thin. She is so quick to say sorry to avoid punishment, but I know she rarely means it.

Gerard is going to take some time off work within the next few weeks and we are going to try to occupy the childrens time a bit better. Hopefully a few day trips and some one to one time with Rachel will help cheer her up.

I read an article today about world birth rates and the fact that the amount of males born is signigicantly higher than the amount of females. It made for very interesting reading, and pointed out that this skewed birth rate is causing problems in some countries (such as China) where men are beginning to find that there just aren’t enough women to go around.
Reading the piece reminded me of my feelings and concerns when I found out that I was expecting my sons.

When I was growing up I always imagined a family with at least 2 or 3 daughters, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have a son.

When I found out that I was pregnant with a boy during my second pregnancy I was slightly nervous. I wondered if I could parent a boy, I imagined a crazy toddler turning into a surly young man who is conditioned to bottle up his emotions and remain difficult to reach.

Everyone I spoke to with sons disagreed. Each and every person told me that wee girls are much harder work, they want to rule the house, while boys are much more placid and easy going.

To date my experience has been immensely positive and I can’t believe I was ever worried. My three children are all precious to me, it makes no difference what gender they happen to be.

I think my concerns must have stemmed from the fact I have two sisters very close in age to me, my brothers are a lot younger, one has yet to reach his teenage years. As my father was not around for most of my childhood, my experience of family life was very much a female orientated one.

I am lucky to have an excellent husband who is very much involved in the childrens lives. This will hopefully come in useful in those teenage years, when embarrassing topics have to be broached, and my son may not actually want my input into his love life, or romantic crises. And I am now wise enough to realise that my daughter is unlikely to want to confide in me about her first love or hot crushes either. Surly teenage behaviour is not limited to the males of our species, I can all too well remember the trouble I gave my own mother!

My sister is currently 5 months pregnant and strangely, experiencing exactly the same worries as I did, way back when. I am trying to give her the benefit of my experience, but I know that once the baby is born, no matter what the sex is, she will realise for herself, what a precious gift a baby is, and that sex is irrelevant to the love you feel for that person who is piece of you.

So, Rachel had her nursery graduation ceremony yesterday. Most of the grandparents came to the school to watch the little concert they’d prepared and to see the kids getting their certificates from the principal of the school.

I showed up slightly late, due to my parents managing to get mixed up over timings. When I got in to the assembly hall, the children were already on stage. It didn’t take long to locate my little cherub on the left of the stage among a gaggle of friends.

The concert began with a few songs from the children, sung in that tuneless, half shouted manner that kids do best!

My heart melted as I saw Rachel scanning the audience and as her eyes settled on my she broke into a huge grin and waved down to me. We spent the rest of the concert intermittently nodding and smiling at each other across the hall.

When the time came, she had to walk out to the middle of the stage to receive her certificate from the principal. As she did it, she looked slightly nervous, but she turned and gave a big wave to the whole family as she walked back to her seat!

It’s always great to see Rachel in her element, mixing with the other kids. She’s such a little butterfly, and she knows it!