Ever since the kids got into the PlayStation their grandparents got them for Christmas, there’s been a slight change in the way they talk. Whenever anyone needs a break, you’ll hear the immortal words “Pause the game, I’ll be back in a minute.”

This doesn’t just apply to computer games, they say it in ‘real life’ too. Outside, playing little games or whatever. They’re not obsessed (really!), but it’s funny how they use such a gaming type phrase in day to day life.

I’m trying to think of other little sayings the kids have, but in the meantime, feel free to share your own…

The latest phenomenon in our street is Bratz Club. We’re not entirely sure what a Bratz Club is, but it can’t be that bad, can it? Probably best not to ask.

Anyway Rachel and her friend Niamh are making invitations for their other Bratz Club buddies and Lisa has just overheard their planning session. As they cut up little hearts to paste on each card, Rachel comes up with their slogan - “We love you. If you love us too, come join our Bratz Club!”

Lisa’s convinced she’s heading for a career in advertising!

Poo has become the word of the moment in our house. Between Rachel and Jake, everything they say or do has poo added to the end. Their favourite insult (or compliment) at the moment is “You’re a poo-poo head!” I say compliment because they all seem to love being called it, apart from one of their little friends who takes it as the kiddie equivalent of character assassination.

What are you having for dinner tonight kids? Poo and chips. What’s on the TV? Power Poo-poos. What should we do this evening? Go for a poo-pa-lee.

We’re going along with it for the time being, until the next fad comes along - and rest assured it will. Probably the worst thing to do right now is order them not to say “poo” and risk turning it into a way to challenge us. So, as of 7:00 every evening, a familiar cry will sound out around our house:

“Time for bed, poo-poo heads!“

Normally by this time of year I am at least half organised for christmas. I know how boring that sounds but the thought of buying all my presents in December terrifies me and I could never afford to do it all in one month anyway.

This year however I seem to be lagging behind. I have a few things in for Jake and a few dress up costumes for Rachel, but other than that the attic is bare.

I hadn’t even begun to worry about it until we went sofa shopping today. After visiting numerous furniture stores and finally deciding on our perfect sofas we were informed that we would have to wait 14 weeks for delivery. The sales assistant specifically pointed out that we will be receiving the set about a week before christmas. The panic then set in……14 weeks, thats only 3 months, thats three wages, thats not enough!

To make things worse after a visit to the toy store next door the children have now dictated their entire christmas list, and guess what, they won’t be getting the half of it! Jake, our wily three year old, informed me that if I let him get a big drum kit for christmas he would be my best friend again. i didn’t know that he had ever stopped the wee imp!

So the christmas countdown has officially begun. I had better start to stockpile very soon, or it will be homemade gifts and cards for family and friends!

I love the way Rachel talks down to me. The way she assumes that she knows everything and tries to explain her theories to me in her most patronising voice. Though it doesn’t bode well for her teenage years!

Yesterday while the kids and I were staying at my mums caravan, I took all three for a walk to the nearby town of Cushendall. On the way I stopped to point out Lurig mountain and told the children how their dad wanted us all to climb to the top for a picnic one day.

Rachel then informed me that it wasn’t in fact a mountain, but a volcano. I began to talk to her some more about volcanoes, trying to pass on some of my very limited knowledge on the subject. She paused, looked up and said “did you know that balls come out of a volcano?” I replied “why would balls come out of a volcano?” she gave me a look of dismay and in her most patronising tones replied “ballcanoe mum, ballcanoe”. I could have died laughing, and of course she still refuses to accept my pronunciation of the word, her teacher told her it was a ballcanoe and thats that!

Following on from my post on outside influences on children, Rachel came off with another cracker this week.

On Friday morning I was trying to coax her into eating her fruit salad before going to school. She was digging her heels in and refusing to do so. She wanted a biscuit and juice, I tried to have the junk food chat but she just wasn’t listening. So I told her that she would be getting nothing else to eat until the fruit was finished.

She then stood up, kicked the table and exclaimed “mother, you are ruining my life!”

I had to turn away so she wouldn’t see me laugh! I said “Rachel, you don’t even know what that means” she replied “yes I do, it means you are making me very unhappy”.

It turns out that a nine year old girl that lives in our street had said the same thing to her sister while Rachel listened last week. It obviously stuck, and now it is her phrase of choice when we are not pleasing her.

If this is what she is like at 4, how will we cope with a teenage version?

When we were younger, my mum always sang a silly tune each time we were building sandcastles. When we got to the stage of tipping our buckets over and tapping the top, my mum always sang “pie pie make a pie, if you don’t I’ll beat your bum”.

I know that in this day and age thats not very politically correct, but can I just say that my mum never in fact ‘beat my bum’!

Since we have had fantastic weather this week and have spent more time in the garden, than in the house I took a quick trip to the toy store last night and bought Rachel and Jake a sandpit. Jake has hardly moved from it since I set it up. He just loves to get his hands dirty.

As I helped him build and then destroy the castles one by one, I found myself singing my mums rhyme “pie pie make a pie…….”. Jake of course picked it up very quickly.
Gerard and I almost collapsed with laughter as we watched Jake from the garden bench tonight. Now every time he builds a castle, one hand is patting the bucket and the other is patting his wee bum as he sings his castle making ditty. Its definately one of those Kodak moments. I really must charge the battery one my video camera!

While watching the children play outside my mums mobile home today, we were accosted by a brood of very loud ducks.

A river runs right past her caravan site and every now and then the ducks come up to be fed. Normally our kids can’t get their bread quick enough but today they were a little afraid.

Rachel asked me why the ducks were fighting, and sure enough when I looked, two of the ducks did seem to be quacking very loudly while pecking and jumping at one another. I told the kids to stay away and then drew my mums attention to the spectacle.

She laughed and pointed out that the ducks were in fact not fighting but engaging in “an act of love”.

I felt like I was about 3 years old! I’m sure that she, like me will be telling her friends this evening about the silly things her daughter said today and laugh at the innocence of it all.

It’s nice to know we don’t grow out of being naive!