When all my children were babies I said that I would breastfeed them for as long as they were interested (within reason of course!) and both Rachel and Jake weaned themselves at just over a year old. Daniel seemed a much more enthusiastic feeder though, and up until a few weeks ago I could imagine me feeding him for at least another six months. How wrong I was.

It takes very little to knock a baby out of his routine. Last weekend Gerard and I were exhibhiting our flashcards at a local craft fair and Daniel was looked after by my sisters for most of the weekend. Before this point Daniel would take formula or breast milk in a bottle very grudgingly, and would never drink more than a few ounces. By the time Monday came around I could hardly get him to take a breastfeed at all.

I am now lucky if he takes a good breastfeed first thing in the morning, after that if I offer it to him, he just bites me (he is cutting 4 teeth at once, so I’m sure that explains a lot). He loves his bottle and in fact when he saw me take one out of the dishwaher during the week he went crazy and tried to throw himself out of my arms to get at it. He only calmed when I made up some formula and gave him a drink.

I am guessing that my days of breastfeeding are now numbered. I am glad to have been able to give my babies the best start in life, and I will miss being the one to provide their nourishment in a way no one else can. But as I seem to point out on this blog at least once a week, my children are growing up FAST! Soon I will have no babies left at all.

It is coming up to that time, when Rachel and Jake where 9 months old, my periods returned. Within another 3-4 months I was pregnant again. Daniel is now 9 months old and the feelings of panic are beginning to rise.

I have already explained my feelings on birth control and contraception, so at the minute we are relying on good old condoms. However we used them religiously after Jake, and I still got pregnant, so I don’t have a hig level of faith in our chosen method.

Two weeks ago I began to get period cramps. I had been expecting them for a while, so i stocked up on sanitary products and waited for the inevitavble. But it didn’t come.

Five days of cramps and mood swings later I began to panic. For the first few weeks of all my pregnancies I have suffered with cramps of this kind, so I began to suspect that I was pregnant once more.

At first I was relatively calm. “It must be meant to be” I thought, I was nervous when I was first pregnant with Daniel, but I wouldn’t change him for the world, and after all didn’t I want a sister for Rachel? However as the hours began to pass and I pondered the future I began to get frantic. Daniel wouldn’t even be 18 months old when the baby was born. I would be bound to get severe SPD again, how would I cope without being able to walk and still look after 3 young children? I missed a whole nights sleep just worrying and worrying.

First thing last Monday I went to the pharmacy and got a pregnancy test, though I was sure what the result would be……Guess what, I was wrong. The test was negative.

I am still getting the cramps, but I am hoping that it is just my body’s way of getting itself into gear once again. After all I haven’t had a period since before I was pregnant a year and a half ago.

Gerard has been ordered to the GPs in a bid to get his vastectomy moved forward. I couldn’t cope with this panic every month!

I love breastfeeding. I breastfed all my children until they were at least a year old, and at almost nine months old, Daniel is showing no signs of stopping.

I am well versed in all the health benefits of breastfeeding, both for baby and me, but one aspect I hadn’t thought of was the cost.

According to this study I have already saved myself at least $567.42 just by breastfeeding Daniel. If you take Rachel and Jake into the equation also, I have saved myself approximately $2000 on formula milk since my children have been born.

As many of you will know I am the bargain queen, and I am so chuffed that I have been saving myself money for the last four years without even knowing it! Good for me.

Just the other day my mother and I were discussing the obvious benefits of breastfeeding and pondering as we often do why more people don’t give it a try.

I mentioned that like Esther at All Things Creative, I always found the first few weeks very difficult. No matter what position I tried to feed my baby in I always ended up in great pain, with cracked and bleeding nipples.After the birth of Daniel I was even tempted to give up and try bottle feeding for a change.

However each time, as soon as my baby turned 3 1/2 weeks, the pain disappeared as if by magic and from then on breastfeeding was the easiest and most beautiful experience in the world.

My mum, in her infinite wisdom, came up with a great analogy for the process. She believes that breatsfeeding is like learning to play the guitar. Stick with me it makes sense in the end (kinda).

When you begin to play the guitar you end up with very painful and blistered fingertips, caused by holding the strings for too long. But after a few weeks of practice your fingertips form callouses and the pain disappears. In my mothers mind breastfedding is very much the same thing.

I don’t like the thought of calloused nipples though……not very sexy at all!