This one’s for Rachel. I had a bad dream at the weekend. About you. And in the dream we’d lost you in a car crash.

It was one of those strange dreams - it lasted long enough for me to feel grief. And there was a bizarre amount of detail. For example, Jake was having trouble adjusting and I remember him having difficulty with suddenly being the eldest. And there only being two boys.

I woke up sad that Sunday morning, but you were up with the dawn as usual and probably didn’t notice me being extra huggy around you. And at the moment, you probably don’t notice that I’m trying to spend a bit more time talking to you, getting to know you and what’s going on in your little life.

The dream may have been significant, because I’ve been feeling that you and I are drifting at the moment. You’re busy with friends and school, and I’m wrapped up in a lot of things. Jake and Dan are about the house quite a bit, but you’re a busy little scamp and rarely up for a chat during waking hours!

So, knowing that you hate going straight to sleep at night, I’m calling in for little chats after you go to bed. We’ll sit high up on your bed and talk about what’s going on. You’ll tell me about stories you’ve read, and maybe I’ll share some stories with you. If I can get a word in edgeways.

I’m enjoying watching you grow up. At the moment, you’re funny, sociable and quick-witted. You enjoy teasing and being teased (but not by the boys). Sometimes you’re volatile, and you’re still a fickle eater. You’re getting along unusually well with Aiden and Lucy right now, but your friendship with Lauren is becoming a bit strange as she’s not keen to share you and wants to stay in her house a lot. We’ve noticed that this bothers you and you want to be in our house a little bit more.

Anyway, there’s a little update for you. I just wanted to share this one in case I forgot it. Hopefully no more of those bad dreams for the foreseeable future.