Yesterday was Jakes first day at preschool. I thought I was nervous when Rachel started primary school last week, but boy was I bad when it was Jakes turn on Monday.

I knew that Jake would take a while to settle. He has always been very attached to me and while he has gotten very confident with other children over the summer, he is still uncomfortable in the presence of unknown adults.

Jake appeared excited about starting playgroup, he chattered during the whole walk to school about the new toys he would play with and all the new friends he would meet. But as soon as the school door opened he tried to hide behind me. We hung up his coat and inside he was happy to play with the sand, water and instruments. Happy as long as I stood within one metre of him and no one else spoke to him.

It was heart breaking to see him panic during circle time and hide behind his hands as his class sang a song to welcome him to playgroup. I was so proud when managed, with a little prompting, to tell the group about our trip to feed the ducks at the weekend.

On the first day I left him for 20 minutes and waited outside. During this time he wandered from group to group, not crying but not really speaking. I think he was just taking it all in.

Today was much the same, only this time I left him for about 30 minutes. His teacher said that he was quiet, but not upset.  I think the problem is that Rachel and Jake are so close in age. Rachel is a bossy wee madam and does a lot of talking for Jake. If he gets embarrassed upon being asked a question, Rachel will step in and answer for him; eg "his name is Jake and he is three". She will also tell him what games they are playing lots of the time and organise their activities while they play outside. She is so good at looking after him and protecting him, I think that Jake finds it hard to cope without her.

This year will be good for Jake. What I really want to happen is for him to develop as an individual. I want him to feel confident in himself and not to feel nervous in new company. It is so hard to leave him each morning. I think it might be easier if he did cry, at least that way I know the teacher would keep a special eye out for him and make sure he was settling. I don't want to think of him feeling quietly terrified with no one noticing.

Gerard will read this and once again think that I am being an over protective mum, maybe I am. I know I probably dwell too much on these things, but Jake really has the power to melt my heart with his huge big eyes that seem to take up half of his face. I hope tomorrow is a bit easier for him, it would be nice to see him running in happily each day without a care in the world!